Today it's officially one month since the world changed forever, and I've been sitting here all night by the fire. I still don't know what to do. In my hands are two letters I wrote, two letters that were so hard to write. They weren't the hardest, though - that title is reserved for the letter I wrote to the Creeveys. But they were still hard.
I don't know if I'll send them. I needed to write them, but I don't know if I could actually send them out.( Dear MegCollapse )( ZachCollapse )
I read and re-read the notes, experiencing all of the emotions that led to their creation in the first place. I finish the letter to Zach, and my hand clenches in anger and frustration, and the next thing I know a ball of paper is flying into the fire. I feel a strange satisfaction in seeing the paper containing those terrible words as it's enveloped in flames... a satisfaction that ends the moment I realize that I accidentally tossed both
I sigh. Well, I knew I was still too angry to write a decent letter to Zach, so that was no great loss. But the letter to Megan... She wouldn't have wanted to hear from me anyway. She was out there somewhere, safe and happy, and a letter from me would have only interrupted that.
I sit there until the last shred of paper turns to ash, and then feeling drained, I bank the fire and turn to my cot for bed.